21 Things Your Momma Wants You to Always Remember

Oh, how I remember when my firstborn left for college. It felt like all of a sudden, there were a million things I had meant to tell my son... but it was too late - he was leaving to begin life on his own - new discoveries, new lessons, new friends, new decisions... and I was left sitting there with pen in hand and a blank sheet of paper.

That was twelve years ago. Now, my baby girl is turning 21 and that strong yearning to write down a list of "Momma's things to remember in life" has returned. This time, the lines on the paper are filled.

I know what a treasure I have when I hold a letter from my mom. Years after her death, the letters, the words she wrote to me are as precious as a hundred bags of gold. That is what I leave to my daughter... my words, my list... to have now on her 21st birthday to contemplate and choose... and later, after I'm gone, for comfort and reassurance.

So, in honor and celebration of her 21 years of life, I write my list to her:

21 Things Your Momma Wants You to Always Remember

1. Be who you are. Don't become "someone" for someone else. Don't live your life as a people-pleaser. If you decide to change something about yourself, do so by recognizing and realizing it's what YOU want to do, not to please or impress anyone else.

2. Always be learning. Your education won't end with a college degree; in fact, that's when your real education will begin. Don't ever stop reaching, stretching, wondering and discovering - learn all you can about anything and everything.

3. Don't compare. I've told you this so often over the past several years. There will always be someone prettier, happier, skinnier... more successful, more talented, wealthier and smarter than you. But, there will always be someone who is less so. Quit the comparison and realize you are absolutely perfect just as you are.

3. Spend time out in nature. Walk through the woods, watch a sunset, gaze at the moon, enjoy the crunch of snow or fall leaves under your feet, catch raindrops on your tongue, stand under a waterfall, sink your toes in the sand, see the beauty of creation that surrounds you, listen to the sounds of frogs, coyotes, geese, and owls. Feel your connection to all living things.

4. Know what you believe and why you believe it. Don't blindly accept the beliefs of others as your own. Just because your dad or I believe something, or your brothers or cousins or friends... you should find what rings true in your heart... formulate your own beliefs... and then stand up for what you believe. But... it's okay to change your mind, too. The experiences you have and the people you meet along the way will offer wisdom and insight that you never considered before. Something you so strongly defended back in your days of high school might not seem so right to you as you get older... and that's okay, you can change your mind.

5. Take time for YOU. Escape to find time for you. This will be so very hard to do when you have kids of your own, a job that demands your time and skills, a husband that needs to know he matters to you, a house to clean, laundry piled high... but it's so very important that you take time to nurture your soul, rest your mind and body, find quiet to settle you.

6. Never ever give up on a dream. Pursue it with all that is within you - with the determination and drive of an athlete who consistently trains without fail. Every single day, do something from where you are, with what you have to move you closer to reaching your dream.

7. What you give away, you get to keep. Give and give and give again to others... be generous with your heart, your time, your money, your energy. It will return to you in ways you never imagined. The measure of your worth is not in what you receive, but in what you give to others.

8. When you say you will do something, keep your word. Make your word true by doing what you said you would do... in the little things, in the big things. Easy to do, but oh so easy not to do.

9. Learn to listen. When someone is talking, give them full attention from your heart and your ears... without formulating your response in your head while they are speaking. Sometimes, all they need is someone to listen.

10. Do what you love. Don't spend your life trying to "make it work" if you don't enjoy what you are doing. Don't wait until you are dying to begin living. Figure out what makes your heart burst with delight and go do that.

11. Travel. See the world, see your country, experience the vast array of cultures, discover beautiful places, meet amazing people... go far away or stay in the states, but travel to new places as often as possible.

12. Always see the light in others... never judge. Everyone has a story, a reason for the way they are. You don't always know what they have been through. Love, don't judge.

13. Do something that scares you... step through your fear and you'll experience the exhilaration of conquering it.

14. Always give a firm handshake. No limp, wimpy handshakes allowed... ever.

15. Look people in the eye when you speak to them. When placing an order at a restaurant, when passing someone on the street, when checking out at the grocery store, when sharing a coke with a friend... look them in the eye. It will fill them with worth and value.

16. Forgive. Don't carry a grudge or resentment around with you... it will become a heavy burden that will weigh you down until you can't move or function. Let it go.

17. Accept failures as lessons, not as the end of the story. Learn from the bad as well as the good. You will fall down, you will make a mess of things, you will make mistakes... but it's all part of your journey... trying and failing and learning... is the key to your success.

18. No one, nothing can make you happy but you. Happiness doesn't come from the outside... it comes from within and you are the only means to being happy. It's your choice.

19. Avoid negative energy... it will drain the life right out of you. Excuse yourself from negative conversations, end relationships with people that exhaust you with their constant tirade of everything that is wrong, don't listen to all the negative news. Negative energy is contagious - you don't want to catch it.

20. Read ten pages a day of a book that inspires, motivates, challenges you to be a better person. Make this a habit, not one of those "someday, when I have time I will do this."

21. Be here now. Don't live in the past, it is gone and there is nothing you can do to change whatever happened. Don't worry about tomorrow, for it isn't here yet - worrying won't change a thing, except to make you feel worse and worse. You only have right here, right now - so embrace and enjoy each moment.

That's it, baby girl. I love you so completely, adore everything about you and desire that your journey in life leads you to writing your own list... to your daughter or son.

Oh, and I almost forgot... there's one more crucial piece of advice - a bonus!... when you have a bad day... remember how a chocolate shake and French fries will cure anything!

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

How to Buy the Best Breast Pumps Online

It is easy to just go ahead and grab the first breast pump you see on the store shelf and just get it over with. But then, you will be compromising not just your health and your comfort, but also the health and comfort of the most important person who will be benefiting from it - your baby. Breast pumps are not created equal and as with anything connected with raising a baby, it needs to fit their needs if they are to grow up healthy.

The first thing you need to determine when buying breast pumps is how much you'll need it. Some new mothers have difficulty with breastfeeding during the first two weeks after giving birth, and as such, electric breast pumps are recommended due to their rapid suck-and-release cycle that mimics the way babies usually nurse. This type of pump saves time because it can pump both breasts at the same time and drain them effectively. These are also the types you need to use if you need to pump more than once a day because of a full work schedule or are frequently away and won't be able to nurse your baby regularly.

If you're a new mom who needs to leave your baby with a sitter every now and then but doesn't want to supplement with milk formulas, then using a battery-operated breast pump is your best option. These are best for short-term feeding intervals and are less expensive. However, unlike electric pumps, they can be used only for one breast at a time and takes twice as long to pump. If you want something that will last longer, you may opt for semi-electric or rechargeable kinds which fair warning, may cost a bit more.

Of course if you're not averse to exerting more pumping effort, you can always get the manual breast pumps. More effort they may require but most women actually prefer it over their faster, electric counterparts because of its convenient size and the fact that it mimics baby's sucking better. In addition, they are infinitely more affordable and quieter than electric and battery-operated pumps.

Once you've determined what type of breast pump you want to get, a good place to start finding these online is comparison sites. These sites allow you browse by price range, brands and stores where your preferred brands are available. They also offer an FAQ page where you will be able to get expert opinions and answers on any questions you may have about the products you are researching about.

If you have budget constraints (a mid-weight, personal-use electric breast pump can retail for as much as roughly $350), you may want to consider renting which can cost you approximately $50-$55 a month plus a security deposit but unless you plan to breastfeed for more than three months, buying your own is the best way to go, especially if you have health insurance that can cover the cost of buying your own pump. In addition, these pumps and its accompanying accessories are also considered tax-deductible.

The beauty of buying online is that there are sites that offer warranties, suction settings, cycle speeds and other important features you need to know about breast pumps. These sites also give pertinent tips and advice like choosing the right size for the breast shields from guides to make for comfortable pumping. As long as you do your research, you should be able to find one that is exactly what you and your baby needs.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

Five Tips for On-Budget Baby Shopping

Though you may realize that a baby is a precious thing, once you hold yours in your arms you start to comprehend what 'precious' really means. We would do anything for them and when it comes to buying, we'd buy whatever there may be available.

There are thousands of products for babies and often moms-to-be feel that they need to buy many of those in order to begin parenting with the right foot. When you are on a limited budget this may create unnecessary anxiety and stress. If this is the case, you should keep well in mind that whatever you buy for your baby, it is you she needs before anything. Expensive things won't make up for love, care and attention.

Furthermore, know that your baby will grow by the hour. It is pointless to buy too many things for her, for clothes will get small in a blink, toys will be obsolete before she can have any significant experience of those and so will accessories. Here are some tips to baby shopping:

1. Clothing

Disposable diapers have changed the world of baby care. This means that the changing rate for clothes need not be too high. Also remember that babies are not dolls. You may be tempted to make them look like adult miniatures or play cuties, but the priority should be to dress them comfortably.

So choose no more than five baby sets before your baby is born and buy new only if/when needed. Pick comfortable materials fit for the season and you'll be good to go.

The time will come when you child will demand a certain type of clothes. It is a good idea to save your money for that day.

2. Bed

Your baby will spend most of her time in her bed, 16 to 14 hours during the first year of her life. Choosing the right bed is very important.

Since you are on a budget, avoid cribs. Cribs are only used in the very first weeks of life and become useless as soon as the baby begins to move. Buy a bed instead, where you can put your baby to sleep for a longer time.

Sometimes a travel cot may be a better choice considering that it has no bars where the baby can stick her head into or bang it. It is less expensive, the baby can play freely and safely inside, it is compact and you can move it around the room. Since they may be easily packed you can take it along wherever you go making your baby feel always at home. Moreover, many travel cots come along with their own crib should you really want one. You may want to buy a small mattress in the size of your cot if it becomes a permanent solution, though not too thick for soon the baby will be able to stand and may actually fall out.

3. Baby carriage

They come in all colors and shapes, often with many accessories. The choice of a carriage is very personal and it depends on your life-style, habits, home, surroundings etc. The primary purpose of baby carriages is to enable you to take out your baby without having to carry her all the time. Yet you may use it at home as well, to help your baby fall asleep, to move her around the house or have her near you safely while you do your things. Do, therefore, choose a light and compact model that takes little space, that you are able to carry yourself and fold when necessary. Some light and compact carriage models are fit for newborns so if you pick the right one, it may be with you and your baby for a long time.

4. Baby carrier

If you really wish to spend money on something else, consider buying a baby carrier. To me it is even more important than baby monitors or other gadgets. It is great to be able to hold your baby all the time near your heart and still have your hands free. You can keep doing your normal house-keeping, shopping or other activities without looking back and worrying about how your baby is doing in the mean time. Keeping her near you and talking to her, is a very natural teaching process that will help in your baby's development. On the other hand, your baby will love being with you at all times.

5. Toys

Do not spend your money on toys and expensive decorations. Your newborn baby will not appreciate them and as she grows a multitude of toys will only confuse her. In order to allow for the healthy development of your baby, she needs to be in contact with diverse colors, shapes, materials and fabrics. In the first months of her life, any safe object is an experience to her so don't rush into complicated and expensive toys. Take your time to know your baby and buy one toy at a time so that she can have a proper experience with it. Choose toys designed for her age and see how she interacts. You will know when is the moment to buy the next toy.

In the end, health, safety and comfort are three things that you should bear in mind when you shop for the baby, so do not buy cheap: shop wisely. Before buying anything for you baby, do your research. Do not rush to buy everything beforehand but wait and see. Your baby will be your best advisor in the matter.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

New Moms, Sleep Well!

Having a baby gives a woman a sense of fulfillment and enormous joy. At the same time, it has been seen that first-time mothers get overwhelmed by the changes that take place in their lives as well as their body, after the baby is born. More importantly sleep deprivation. Your baby will require many feedings a day which means less sleep for you.

BE CAREFUL! You should recognize the importance of sleep.

While some people may like to believe that they can train their bodies to not require as much sleep as they once did, this belief is false. Sleep is needed to regenerate certain parts of the body, especially the brain, so that it may continue to function optimally. After periods of extended wakefulness or reduced sleep neurons may begin to malfunction, visibly effecting a person's behavior.

According to a study conducted by the University of North Carolina Highway Safety Research Center, people who sleep less than five hours per day are four to five times more likely to be involved in a sleep-related crash.

Super Mom will give you few tips on how to relax during those few first months:

"Sleep when the baby sleeps" sounds blissful in theory. In reality, not everyone could do that. For some people sleeping requires some sort of relaxations, low light, quiet environment,... etc.

Tips on how to sleep better:

1-Lie down, even if you can't sleep.

2-Have your husband or a relative do the night shift for you ( mother or mother- in-law)

3-Take turns: One option is to put the baby to bed at night after the 8 o'clock feeding and go to bed yourself. Your partner can use a bottle of expressed milk to feed the baby around 10. Afterward your partner can go to bed and you can get up for the 2 to 4 feeding. That way, each of you will have the opportunity to have an uninterrupted six-plus hours of sleep

4-Don't rely on coffee: Although gulping down a cup of coffee first thing in the morning can give you the jolt you need to be alert, overdoing it can mask your need for sleep, and may actually prevent you from falling asleep when you finally lie down.

5-Get help around the house: Every day there seems to be twice as much work and half as much time to complete it in. Try getting a housekeeper few times a week to help you around the house or at least few hours a week.

6-Organize visiting hours: Everybody wants to see the new baby, of course. And you, you conscientious person, will feel the need to make sure the house is clean and there's something to offer them when they come. Unless your family has moved in to take over such chores, ask visitors to hold off for a week or so, then have them come one or two at a time for a couple of days a week. Anyone who had kids will understand, and those who haven't will learn soon enough.

7-Keep the baby near by: Moms actually sleep better when the baby sleeps in a bassinet next to the parents' bed rather than in his or her own room down the hall. The idea is that the baby's within easy reach, the mother doesn't have to be aroused by the baby's screaming, and she doesn't have to get up, turn on the lights, and go down a hallway. That makes it easier to slide back into sleep after the feeding. Starting his second month he will start sleeping better during the night then you could move him to his own room.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

The Weekly Compass - How Many Hats Do You Wear?

Roles and Priorities

When you think of the roles you play, it can often change from day to day, sometimes several times a day. How do we prioritize our days when we wear so many different hats? We are mothers, wives, daughters, friends, employees, citizens, volunteers, aunts, sisters, etc. By focusing more on relationships than on to do lists, we are telling the people around us that they are the most important thing to us because our ACTIONS will show it.

The Weekly Compass

The weekly compass is what Stephen Covey writes about in his book, First Things First. It is a method I have been using for about 3 years now to keep my priorities in order on a weekly basis. A compass gives your life direction and focus. It is different than the clock, which tracks the time and things we do within that time frame.

The weekly compass works like this:

Every weekend, usually sometime between late Friday afternoon and Sunday night I schedule a "meeting with me". My family knows that when they see me pick up my red zipper Daytimer planner, that I'm off to Starbucks for a couple of hours to set my compass for the following week.

Sharpen your saw:

The principle of sharpening the saw comes right out of scripture

"If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed but skill will bring success." Eccl. 10:10

The idea is that if we are not growing as a person and continually working on areas of our lives to improve, we are not best able to give to others. If our cup is continually empty, then we won't have anything to give others. In order to sharpen your own saw, pick ONE thing you will do THIS week to improve your life in the areas of

· Physical

· Social / Emotional

· Mental

· Spiritual

After you have identified those areas, then write down seven roles (or HATS) you will wear THIS week. The hats may change from week to week, but it's recommended that you don't put on more than seven in one week so you can FOCUS.

My ROLES for this week are:

Wife

Mom

Teacher

Writer

Friend

Daughter

Entrepreneur

The NEXT step is for me to look at each role and ask myself ONE question.

What's the most important thing I can do in this role this week?

Pick ONE thing. Not three or four, just one. Write it down. This is what Covey calls, your BIG rocks. If you are filling up a jar with large rocks and small rocks and you first put all the small rocks into the jar, you will not fit the large rocks in. Your ONE thing you wrote down is your BIG ROCK. Put those in your jar first, then all the little rocks will fit into place. If you are intentional about adding value into the lives of others, then all the thousands of "to-dos" will fall in to place as needed. Relationships are the most important things in life, with God and others. Take some time to write out your own weekly compass!

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

Sick Mothers And Breastfeeding

If you are a new mother, you may have doubts whether you can breastfeed your baby when you are ill. You may have apprehensions if your baby will also be affected by your illness if you commit the mistake of breastfeeding.

The answer to your doubts is that you can certainly breastfeed your baby when you are affected by cold, flu or other common illnesses. But, you should take utmost care to protect your baby from infections. You should not forget that your baby may be affected by your illness even if you do not breastfeed. But, by breastfeeding even when you are sick, you will be making your baby more immune. You may wonder how this is possible. The reality is that when you are sick, your body produces antibodies to fight the infection. When you breastfeed, these antibodies enter your baby's body also and these antibodies will do a world of good, by strengthening your baby's immunity system.

A few mothers may worry if there will be any problem due to the medications they take for curing their illnesses. As a breastfeeding mother, you should discuss this with your doctor. But, researchers have proved that common medicines may not affect the babies even if the sick mothers breastfeed them. So, mothers need not worry about common ailments, symptoms or medications. In fact, some of the symptoms may affect the mothers more than they affect the babies. So, mothers can continue with their breastfeeding even if there are such symptoms or ailments. But, if they have serious ailments like Hepatitis or HIV, it is better they consult their doctors before deciding to breastfeed their babies.

If you have a common fever and take medications for getting relief from it, it is certainly safe to breastfeed your baby. But, if the fever occurs during the first few weeks after the birth of the child, it is better to consult your doctor because the child may get infected very easily.

As far as vomiting and diarrhea are concerned, you should ensure that you do not get dehydrated because dehydration may deplete the milk supply. If there is no such problem, you can continue breastfeeding your baby.

It is true that cough is highly contagious but you can continue breastfeed your child but you should take a few precautions. Your cough will not affect your baby through your milk but if you cough on the baby, the infection may affect the child. So, you should take small precautionary steps like not breathing or coughing on your baby, keeping your hands clean by washing them frequently and before you touch the child and so on. If you feel that you are taking unusual medications for getting relief from your cold and cough, you should consult your doctor about breastfeeding your baby.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

Why Choose Breastfeeding Your Baby?

The benefits of breastfeeding start on day one and last for years, probably for life. Anything that researchers describe as an advantage of breast feeding can also be described as a risk associated with artificial feeding. Of course it's up to you whether you breastfeed or not and for how long, but holding back information and minimizing the differences between breastfeeding and formula feeding keeps parents from being able to make informed decisions about their infant's care. There are so many scientifically proven benefits of breastfeeding, that when you see them listed, it's surprising that not everybody who can breastfeed does. If you can breastfeed your baby, that's the best way to go.

Proteins are the key to growth Proteins in your milk are as different from those in cow's milk (or other animal milks) as you are from a cow. Protein is mother's milk is much higher in nutritive value than in based on cow's milk formula, and is perfectly suited to the human baby digestive system.

Amino acids and taurine Proteins break down into amino acids, the building blocks of body tissue. Your milk contains essential amino acids in the proper proportions that your baby needs.

Taurine is amino acid that has an important role in the development of brain tissue and the retina of the eye. It is virtually absent in cow's milk or artificial milk.

Fats provide energy for growth and more The specific types of fatty acids in human milk like DHA and ARA, cholesterol and lactose are important to the development of the brain and nervous system. DHA and ARA are associated with better visual and cognitive development in infants. Formula manufacturers have begun to add DHA and ARA to artificial infant milks, though research has yet to demonstrate that it will make a difference in baby's development.

Vitamins and minerals Human milk is the best and most balanced source of vitamins and minerals, such as iron, calcium and vitamin D. They are essential to baby's growth and health and much better absorbed by your baby than vitamins and minerals in infant formula.

Human milk - an arsenal against illness. Public health experts have long been aware that babies who are not breastfed are more vulnerable to infections, chronic illness and allergies. The immunological protection that comes with breastfeeding involves hormones, enzymes, growth factors, live cells, proteins, fats, immunoglobulins, and other special ingredients. It becomes more and more apparent to researchers that artificial milk cannot compare with the real thing.

Jaw, teeth, and facial development. Your baby's exercise in eating may affect the shape of his face, his teeth and his smile. The sucking techniques used in bottle - feeding do not involve as many muscles and may lead to underdeveloped facial structure.

Proven benefits to mothers' health: Breastfeeding women tend to get back to their pre-pregnancy weight more rapidly. Women who breastfeed are less likely to develop breast or ovarian cancer before they reach menopause.They are less likely to suffer osteoporosis and therefore fractures in later life.

The risk of type 2 diabetes is less. Post-partum depression is less likely.

No product has ever been as time-tested as mother's milk. Mothers who breastfed their babies centuries ago may not have known why their milk was so important for their babies. But the wonderful closeness of nursing and the joy of watching their little ones grow big and strong surely confirmed what they knew in their hearts - that what babies need is mother's milk and mother herself.

For More Information:

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding La Leche League International

The Essential First Year Penelope Leach

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

Helping to Solve The Financial Challenges of the Working Mother

A recent study by ChildCare Aware of America, a childcare research and advocacy group, appears to indicate that childcare is becoming at least as expensive as in-state college tuitions in most instances (The Christian Science Monitor, Childcare cost: Day care expense rivals college cost, fuels social problems, August 23, 2012). The study found that childcare payments equaled more than annual median rent payments in 22 states. In some of the more expensive states the payments are more than half the median incomes of single moms. The article made the argument that having a baby greatly increased the likelihood that the mother would transition into poverty. I have had several personal experiences with mothers in similar circumstances. in several cases these mothers realized that maintaining their job was costing them money when all the associated costs of working outside the home were factored in. In many cases, these parents had been so used to having a job outside the home that they felt they had to work, even when the practice was harming their families finances.

In my own personal situation my wife and I started our family while we were both working full-time jobs. I have been a law enforcement officer for my entire professional life, while my wife achieved her Master's Degree in Park and Recreational Management. My wife spent the first 7 years of our marriage working in county and state park systems as a park ranger and assistant park manager. We had our first child and determined we did not want anyone else raising our child. As a result, we split our days off and our shifts to ensure that our daughter was rarely with anyone other than one of us.

Due to circumstances outside of our control my wife found herself in an untenable situation at her last job with a state park system. Her misery with her circumstances began to affect her and our marriage. When I showed up one day to her job with a picnic basket and our beautiful infant daughter, I found her crying and in a state of significant distress. Realizing that things weren't going to get any better for her, I told her that day to walk away from her unhappy situation. Her immediate response was, "we can't afford it." I told her that whatever it took I would figure out a way to keep her home.

We made some sacrifices, keeping in mind that our ultimate goal was to create a situation where she could manage the house and raise our child while I earned the money we needed to survive. I will be honest and declare that it was initially very difficult (macaroni and cheese was on the menu). Our income was cut by approximately a third, but we were determined to make this work. I took on a steady off-duty job to supplement our bank account, and a year later I was promoted. Prior to the promotion and the additional pay, however, we had already managed to adapt to our situation. We sold one of our cars, let go of the lady cleaning our house and eliminated the babysitter we were using on occasion. In the end the impact of our income loss was mitigated to the point we wondered why we had not brought her home sooner. We eventually had our second child (my wonderful son and future guitar partner). This was my first experience with the idea that if you want something bad enough (you have a big enough "why"), the "how" will work itself out.

One of the unintended consequences of having a family was that my wife developed several health issues. As a result of both pregnancies, my wife developed preeclampsia and the H.E.L.P. Syndrome. These complications required that my wife to be induced early with each child. In addition, the pregnancies caused my wife to develop a thyroid condition that adversely affected several of the systems in her body and resulted in significant weight gain. My wife was a rough and tumble park ranger when I first met her. She would come home completely black, covered in soot from fighting a park fire. She had been on camping trips in Costa Rica where she did not take showers for weeks.

Those days were long past.

My wife was now very concerned with her appearance. She liked to have her hair and nails done; she liked to dress nice; and she would not go anywhere near a campground unless there were cabins with running water, a cosmetic mirror and a place to plug in a hair dryer. The weight gain she experienced, therefore, had a significantly negative impact on her self-image. She was working out 4-5 days a week and was working very hard at eating a healthy diet. Nothing seemed to work. I was careful not to mention her weight and honestly expressed to her that she was my standard of beauty. What I failed to understand, however, was that my wifes focus on her appearance transended vanity. Instead, my wifes concerns were that her appearance was a reflection of her health and that she was not setting the proper example for her family. It was from this desperate place that she found her salvation.

My wife's desperation created a "why" that needed to be answered and she found it through the parent of one of my daughters friends. During a conversation with this woman my wife stated that she was willing to try anything short of surgery or drugs to solve her problem. This friend explained that she was an associate with a residual income business that dealt with health and wellness. She went on to say that the program might be exactly what my wife was looking for. My wife was preparing for a trip back to Wisconsin for her high school reunion. This has always been an important event for my wife, and it served as further motivation to try the program (another "why").

This was an event significant to my wife, and ultimately significant to my entire family for many reasons. The program provided amazing results to my wife and she became an instant believer. Furthermore, she began to draw a crowd. Everyone who ever knew her when she was heavy wanted to know what she had done to achieve such amazing weight loss success! It didn't hurt that my wife was excited to tell people about the program, not yet realizing that she was already doing the job of a network marketer without getting paid for it... yet.

When my wife came to understand that simply telling someone about her success could be transitioned into a successful business we began our venture down the path to financial independence. She quickly achieved a salary in excess of what she would have been making had she remained with the park service. An even greater benefit was realized when it became apparent the money would continue to come in even when we were on vacation sitting on a beach (one of the many benefits of a residual income).

It took several months for me to try the program, but I eventually acquiesced and experienced similar results. I did not have as much weight to lose, but I achieved a level of fitness that I had not seen in years!

My wife and I now attend yearly events sponsored by our network marketing company. It never ceases to amaze me when I look around and see the thousands of people in attendance, cheering new products or new tools intended to make it easier to run our business. I love to listen to the stories of others on stage telling about the "why" that brought them to network marketing. Many of these stories express histories that started out more tragic and perilous than our own. Single mothers tell stories about sick children and bankruptcies. Husbands and wives talk of losing their only source of income to a bad economy and a concern for how they are going to feed their family or pay their bills. All of these stories end the same way. One or both of the spouses discovered network marketing and were able to achieve financial freedom for themselves and their future generations. They talk about not having to worry about college tuition or paying medical bills. They speak of amazing adventures and wonderful vacations all paid for through a residual income... sometimes earning enough residual income during the trip to pay for the trip. All of the speakers share one thing in common. They all discovered a big enough "why" to push them to realize their hopes and dreams.

What does this have to do with childcare and working mothers? How many mothers wish they didn't have to leave their kids off with complete strangers? How many wish they could be there for their child's first steps? How many wish they did not have to cut their salary in half to pay for childcare before they even make another dime to pay the rest of their bills? Residual income provides for all of these opportunities and potentially much, much more! Is that a big enough "why" to get you started? Is it at least enough to start you asking questions? Find a company you can be passionate about and use that passion to change your life.

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A Guide to Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is a natural gift that a mother can offer to his or her baby. Unlike formula milks, breast milk is the source of the essential nutrients that a baby needs. Some people believe it can act as antibiotics or vitamins aside from being a central source of food for a baby. The immune system and the physical and mental development of the baby are enhanced to give him or her optimum health and wellbeing.

Importance of Breastfeeding

Studies have shown that breastfeeding can have long-term positive effects to the child's physical and mental health. Some studies also show that children breastfed during their newborn stage are less prone to various diseases. Breastfeeding offers more nutrients than any artificially formulated milk. As your baby grows, mother's milk matures as well. The right amount of essential fat, sugar, protein, and water are derived from a mother's milk. This milk is also easier to digest for the baby.

Expressing and the Benefits It Offers

Expressing is the pumping of breast milk into a bottle that can be fed to a baby at a later time. Instead of feeding the baby straight from the mother's breast, the milk can be collected, stored, and fed to the baby. This is convenient for a mother, especially if she has to go somewhere and the baby needs to be fed at home. There are also times when a mother feels full with breast milk but the baby is not ready yet to feed. So as not to waste any breast milk and give the mother some relief from the fullness, she can use a breast pump and store the milk in an Avent bottle for later. Other members of the family like the father can also enjoy and connect with the baby by feeding him or her with the bottled breast milk.

Sterilizing and Storing Feeding Bottles

With the option of expressing, it is important, therefore, to keep feeding bottles, breast pumps, and other feeding equipment sterilized and clean. A newborn with an immature immune system can easily get diseases from unsterilized feeding bottles. Diarrhea and tummy aches can happen in this case, and that's something any parent should always have to avoid. Make sure you totally clean and wash feeding bottles and equipment before and after using them. You can wash and rinse it with warm water then sterilize it with steam. This can kill harmful germs and help protect your baby from diseases.

Moreover, make sure you are storing your breast milk in the proper way. Breast milk can be easily spoiled, so you need to keep them in sealed bottles and refrigerate them to prevent spoilage. You can store mother's milk in the refrigerator for 24 hours or in the freezer for 3 months. You may also want to write the day of expressing on the bottle and the time as well to make sure you are feeding your child with healthy milk. This will also be a way a mother to keep track of the dates and time of expressing to avoid wasting breast milk.

Breastfeeding doesn't have to be a challenging part in baby care. You can manage this task with expressing and practicing the proper ways to store and sterilize mother's milk.

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Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips

One dream that many married couples all over the world strive for is to be pregnant. They want to experience the joy of motherhood and fatherhood and raise a child into adulthood. If you would like to join them in the experience and need help, then read the advice on pregnancy in this article.

Even though you should gain some weight while pregnant, it is not a good thing to gain way too much. There are many bad effects that excess weight can have on the body. These include gestational diabetes, stillbirth, and caesarean delivery. Be very careful about what you eat.

To give your baby a stronger heart from the start, exercise regularly during your pregnancy. Research has shown that babies whose mothers exercised at least three times per week for 30 minutes had stronger hearts at the time of birth. The effect lasts, too; their hearts were still stronger a month after birth. Discuss exercise options with your doctor before starting any workout regimen.

Eat five or six well-balanced meals every day. This will help you to get all the nutrition that you need, as well as the calories. You should not be eating junk food all day. There is no nutritional value in that, and the only thing it will do for you is put on extra pounds.

If you are a smoker, now is the time to quit. Many programs are around to help you do this. Smoking can lead to having a premature baby. It can also cause your baby to be underweight. Babies need to start out with a strong start, in order to be prepared to handle this world.

Make sure the prescription drugs you are taking are not dangerous to the health of your baby. Every prescription drug on the market has a "pregnancy class" that tells you whether the drug is safe to take during pregnancy. If you are taking a drug that is unsafe for pregnant women, ask your doctor about alternatives. Most drugs have one or more.

If you are pregnant with twins or multiple babies, be prepared to have a C-Section. Most doctors prefer to deliver via C-Section when there is more than one baby, in order to prevent the mother from bleeding too much, and to increase the chances of the babies being delivered without any problems.

Do not give up exercising when you are pregnant, unless you have a medically necessary reason to do so. Walking, swimming and other low-impact activities are excellent ways to keep your heart healthy and your core muscles strong, which can help to alleviate back pain and may make labor and delivery easier for you.

Know if you are HIV-positive or not. If you find out that you are, do not automatically freak out. HIV-positive women that are aware of this early on, have a higher chance of sparing their babies from getting this disease. You will want to make sure that you have an OB-GYN that is well educated about the care that will need to be taken and can explain all of your options for a safe pregnancy.

As stated before in the article above, many married couples worldwide, strive for pregnancy. These couples try their best to raise children and become mothers and fathers. If you use the pregnancy advice from this article, then you too can take part in experiencing the joy of motherhood and fatherhood.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

The Miracle of Childbirth

When pregnant with my first child, I only knew that I was expecting because my stomach grew. My friends and I were pregnant at the same time for the first time. Many of them were quite unwell with morning sickness and exhaustion. I, on the other hand, had life "as usual" except for the uncontrollable cravings for meat, an unheard of luxury in 1988 Israel.

During my second pregnancy, I felt a bit queasy. However, it was manageable and I was still relatively sure that the dramas of illness that women spoke about during their pregnancies were more to relieve themselves of housework than anything real.

When pregnant for the third time, a previously unknown world opened up for me. I remember well the moment of truth. We had just finished our Friday night Shabbat meal. Suddenly, I got up and ran to the bathroom quickly putting an end to what had been a delicious flavor in my mouth.

The sickness and exhaustion lasted the entire 9 months of the pregnancy, give or take a few days. I internally asked forgiveness from every woman who I ever doubted was truly sick during her pregnancy. It was now clear that morning sickness (and afternoon sickness, and night sickness) were genuine by-products of women's pregnancies and not a ploy for attention.

The LONG awaited day finally arrived. Labor came on strong. I went from sleeping to transition in a few moments, which is not the way to give birth. I am grateful that we lived just a few miles from the hospital because I made it there just in time to give birth in my pajamas!

Out came (or should I say "out flew") my little girl. The doctor passed her to me. I took one look at this sweet bundle and knew for sure, without a question or doubt, that there is a G*d in the world.

I could be scientific about this realization and claim that the wonderment of conception and birth must bring one to a belief in The Creator. I could discuss that every single cell perfectly knows its job in the human body -this cell will become part of the pinky nail and that cell will become part of the pupil in the eye, etc.-all a perfect plan of The Maker Himself. I could note the uniqueness of every person in the world, each obviously with their own soul. Pregnancy and childbirth bring endless proofs that there must be a G*d.

However, that is not what brought me to the absolute knowledge that G*d exists. What did it for me? I fell madly and passionately in love with the new little angel that had just been placed into my arms. When else can someone torture you for 9 months and in a moment you decide that you are madly in love with her forever? When can something make you feel so bad and in one connecting moment the world becomes open with possibility, hope, and joy?

That is a mother's love for her child, a true miracle and gift from G*d alone. One of the infinite ways that G*d reaches out to us and lets us know that He exists, He created us, He loves us, and He will take care of us always.

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The Proper Way of Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things a mother would experience after giving birth. It is the safest and best milk she can offer to her baby. Just what nutritionist experts have said "Breast milk is still best for Babies up to two years and beyond" Several mothers may experience difficulties or strange feelings during the early stage of the sessions of breastfeeding to their babies, increased anxiety and constant worry for them thinking if she could produce enough milk but eventually they will soon be used to it. Breastfeeding may take around 20 to 45 minutes per session for the first three months of a new born baby.

There are lots of benefits for the infant, greater immune health through breastfeeding about 0.25-0.5 grams per day IgA antibodies go by through milk. Colostrums are one of the most important feature breast milk formed for babies. It also contains several anti-infective factors such as protecting amoebic infections, and inhibiting growth of intestinal bacteria.

Studies show that breastfeed infants include a lower risk of infections than those non-breastfeed infants. It also reduces sudden death syndrome because infants have improved stimulation from nap at 2 to 3 months. Less diabetes, infants completely breastfeed contain a fewer possibility of developing diabetes mellitus than peers by means of a shorter period of breastfeeding and prior exposure to an formulated cow's milk.

Maternal bond are strengthen during the breastfeeding period because of the released of the hormones. World Health Organization (WHO) recommend breastfeeding for the baby's up to six months of their life and continued feeding with appropriate foods up to two years old and beyond. It is the best food for the baby for it provides complete nourishments. It is also very convenient and affordable for the mother to breastfeed their babies. Babies who are breastfeed are more active, smart, intelligent, they also have good teeth and because of the time spend by mothers to their babies bonding are intact, closeness to their parents as they grow older. A baby feels that they are cared and loved. Mothers are enjoying taking care of their babies at the same time they are also providing and protecting their babies free from sickness.

The following tips are the proper way to breastfeed your child:

• It is important to be at ease, calm and be ready. Make sure that the room is comfortable for the said activity/session. You have to move away if the room is crowded, or if it is cold get additional blanket. Once all set, be certain to make use of a comfortable chair to provide a firm support. Lying down may be also suggested.

• The baby needs to be comfortable as well, for you as a mother to check the right position if it is sitting or lying down. It might be stressful for the baby that he may refuse to suck your nipples. He feels aware if your body is anxious or if it is calm.

• Placing pillows behind your back and under the arm for a relaxed position when you breastfeed your baby is the most common breastfeeding position. Your baby's head should rest on your hand and other hand over the baby's thighs or buttocks.

• To maintain its position child's face must be in front of your chest so it will be comfortable while sucking. Let your nipple touch the baby's cheek, automatically the baby will turn his face towards where the touch came; the baby will open his/her mouth to suck its milk.

• Letting the baby know that it is routing time for his breastfeeding. Feeding the baby regularly as he grows a bit older, will help regulate and be at ease between meals.

It is how you offer your breast, proper sitting, and how you hold your little ones affect them on how they suck properly. This fact shows how you will be relaxed and comfortable during breastfeeding.

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Mompreneur Mindset - 3 Simple Steps To Create Lasting Inner Peace

It is often been said that women are complicated creatures, but are we really? I speak to and connect with many women, especially moms on a daily basis and it doesn't seem like we are complicated at all. In fact, I would go so far as to say that we are extremely easy to figure out!

It seems that there are three basic things that seem common to all moms, that if they are met, mean that they live a very happy and peaceful existence.

Seemingly all we want is:

1. For our kids to be healthy and happy

I once heard it say that a mother is only as happy as her sickest child, and it really resonated with me. When our kids are sick, they are miserable, clingy and difficult to keep content. If they are babies, they spend their time wanting to be carried, meaning that we get very little done. It can also be emotionally exhausting for the mother. When our kids are healthy and happy in their lives, we are content and happy in ours.

2. For our husband/partner to be loving and supportive

I guess that you could argue that loving and supportive is relative, and what I view as loving and supportive differs from the next person. To a certain extent, this is true. However, I think that most women could agree that if your husband supports you, even when you make a decision that turned out not to be the best one, if he loves you unconditionally, even when you screw up, and understands how hard it can be emotionally, being mom to a young family, it's all we really require. Mostly we don't want someone to take away our responsibilities - we just want them to provide a friendly ear and strong shoulder.

3. To occasionally have a little "me" time, away from the bustle of the family

Most mothers do not crave a weekend away from their kids. Most mothers do not crave a whole day away from their kids. There comes a point, about a few hours into our time off, when we start to yearn to see our babies, and hold them in our arms. All we really require is a hour or two to ourselves. We want to read a little, or drink a cup of coffee while it's still hot. We want to perhaps have a manicure or a facial, without dealing with multiple distractions at the same time. Really, our needs are not complicated and we will come back feeling rejuvenated and energised.

How many of my female readers have read the statements above and agree that if they were met almost 80% of the time, you would be content? Yes, I know that we're not supposed to attach our happiness to external events or objects, and that happiness comes from within, and that happiness is a journey and not a destination etc. But seriously, does knowing all that ever actually make you feel any better?

So any men reading this, take note:

We are not complicated creatures who are hard to understand. Please try to support us, love us and understand how hard it is to be a mum, constantly juggling the happiness and health of so many people.

Try to help more with the kids: take them on an outing to give us one hour of peace. We're not asking for days here. Generally one hour is quite sufficient to recharge our batteries.

And most of all, try not to put us down or judge us. I promise, we are harder on ourselves than you could ever be; riddled with guilt and worry, and praying to God that we make the best choice for our families.

Help us with these things, and we will love you forever.

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Enjoying Growing Older

I was raised in the 1960s during a time of great civil unrest. We were taught to never trust anyone over 30.

That works great when you are 19, 20, 21... but when you approach 31, 40, 50... You need a new belief system!

Growing older is a party to be enjoyed. Here's why:

You are freer to speak your mind.

When I express an opinion, I am given a modicum of respect because I am an older woman. I'm not so old as to be considered "doddering" but I do have opinions that are sometimes listened to.

Then there is the experience factor. I have lived through enough difficulties in life that when someone asks advice about their child who is swinging from the ceiling, they are more likely to listen to me because I have been through ADD, LD, ADHD and ee ii ee ii oo with my own children.

Finally, idiosyncrasies are tolerated because my family says, Oh, that's just how mom is."

This is freedom!

You are freer to follow your passions

As a young law school graduate, there were societal expectations. In my circle, the path to take was to be a prosecutor for several years, then private practice to make lots of money, then be appointed a judge until you earned a cushy retirement. I made a good start on that path, then decided to take a mommy sabbatical for 15 years. Upon my return to practicing, I have had the freedom to make it look any way I want it to look, working on my own terms in a way that makes sense in my very complicated life.

With older kids, I am freer to pick up some other interests. I have made a couple of quilts and I'm enjoying some art activities. I never had the time of the undisturbed space to do this before.

I am freer to give my time to causes I believe in. When I volunteered while the kids were little, there was a constant tension between the desire to volunteer and the guilt over taking time from the children. Now, the kids are busy, I'm busy and we're all happy.

You are freer to forgive.

As I get older I realize I don't have time to hold grudges. If I have many years left or only a few, I won't waste those years holding grudges that were silly in their inception.

I also don't have time to nurse grievances. I would rather spend my energy accepting and loving other people.

Finally, I can forgive myself for all the stupid things I did in my youth, and there were many. I can look back in love at that young person and thank God for the growth he allowed me to stumble through.

Don't dread getting older. Go there gracefully. There is tremendous freedom ahead to be enjoyed. The way I see it, from here on it's all a party - and I've never been one to miss a good party.

Won't you come along?

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Going Back To School: How Mothers Should Deal With Children Anxiety

Endless are the questions and anxieties a child could have at the beginning of the school year and who is better than us, mothers, to calm them and push their worries away. But first let us review the reason behind that anxiety.

Remember, that after a long summer spent in the heart of their parents, children will feel worried about how it will be away from their family, how it will feel to spend the whole day with a new teacher and new students that they might not get along with. It is not easy to be obligated to accept new people and a whole new society, so it is more than normal to feel uncomfortable during the first few days of school.

When a kid is obsessed with his worries then a normal anxiety could become a separation anxiety disorder and in that case, parents will need help to solve the problem. But in a normal anxiety, how should parents react?

Meeting with the teacher: Get to know your child's teacher if he sees that you're familiar with his teacher he will feel more comfortable around her. Create an initiative: Ask the teacher if it's possible for your son or daughter to prepare cookies for his friends and bring them to school with him or help him prepare a thank you card for his teacher. Gestures like that could help him feel closer to his school society and he will feel more excited to go to school the next day. The magic kiss: Before leaving, kiss your child on the palm of his hand and tell him that this is a magical kiss that won't fade away. Whenever he misses you ask him to put his hand on his cheek and he will feel as If you are near him. This technique works like a charm with emotional children. Organize a play date: Meet with some parents and plan for playing dates to help your child get more familiar with his classmates. Special treats and snacks: Take your child to the supermarket and allow him to pick special treats for school that he will be happy to have and share with his friends. Cool school supplies: Buy your kids or take them to choose their own school supplies. Things they would love to use while studying.

Small things like that could make a huge difference in your child's emotion behavior. And most importantly be there for him, support him for as long as his anxiety will take.

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