21 Things Your Momma Wants You to Always Remember

Oh, how I remember when my firstborn left for college. It felt like all of a sudden, there were a million things I had meant to tell my son... but it was too late - he was leaving to begin life on his own - new discoveries, new lessons, new friends, new decisions... and I was left sitting there with pen in hand and a blank sheet of paper.

That was twelve years ago. Now, my baby girl is turning 21 and that strong yearning to write down a list of "Momma's things to remember in life" has returned. This time, the lines on the paper are filled.

I know what a treasure I have when I hold a letter from my mom. Years after her death, the letters, the words she wrote to me are as precious as a hundred bags of gold. That is what I leave to my daughter... my words, my list... to have now on her 21st birthday to contemplate and choose... and later, after I'm gone, for comfort and reassurance.

So, in honor and celebration of her 21 years of life, I write my list to her:

21 Things Your Momma Wants You to Always Remember

1. Be who you are. Don't become "someone" for someone else. Don't live your life as a people-pleaser. If you decide to change something about yourself, do so by recognizing and realizing it's what YOU want to do, not to please or impress anyone else.

2. Always be learning. Your education won't end with a college degree; in fact, that's when your real education will begin. Don't ever stop reaching, stretching, wondering and discovering - learn all you can about anything and everything.

3. Don't compare. I've told you this so often over the past several years. There will always be someone prettier, happier, skinnier... more successful, more talented, wealthier and smarter than you. But, there will always be someone who is less so. Quit the comparison and realize you are absolutely perfect just as you are.

3. Spend time out in nature. Walk through the woods, watch a sunset, gaze at the moon, enjoy the crunch of snow or fall leaves under your feet, catch raindrops on your tongue, stand under a waterfall, sink your toes in the sand, see the beauty of creation that surrounds you, listen to the sounds of frogs, coyotes, geese, and owls. Feel your connection to all living things.

4. Know what you believe and why you believe it. Don't blindly accept the beliefs of others as your own. Just because your dad or I believe something, or your brothers or cousins or friends... you should find what rings true in your heart... formulate your own beliefs... and then stand up for what you believe. But... it's okay to change your mind, too. The experiences you have and the people you meet along the way will offer wisdom and insight that you never considered before. Something you so strongly defended back in your days of high school might not seem so right to you as you get older... and that's okay, you can change your mind.

5. Take time for YOU. Escape to find time for you. This will be so very hard to do when you have kids of your own, a job that demands your time and skills, a husband that needs to know he matters to you, a house to clean, laundry piled high... but it's so very important that you take time to nurture your soul, rest your mind and body, find quiet to settle you.

6. Never ever give up on a dream. Pursue it with all that is within you - with the determination and drive of an athlete who consistently trains without fail. Every single day, do something from where you are, with what you have to move you closer to reaching your dream.

7. What you give away, you get to keep. Give and give and give again to others... be generous with your heart, your time, your money, your energy. It will return to you in ways you never imagined. The measure of your worth is not in what you receive, but in what you give to others.

8. When you say you will do something, keep your word. Make your word true by doing what you said you would do... in the little things, in the big things. Easy to do, but oh so easy not to do.

9. Learn to listen. When someone is talking, give them full attention from your heart and your ears... without formulating your response in your head while they are speaking. Sometimes, all they need is someone to listen.

10. Do what you love. Don't spend your life trying to "make it work" if you don't enjoy what you are doing. Don't wait until you are dying to begin living. Figure out what makes your heart burst with delight and go do that.

11. Travel. See the world, see your country, experience the vast array of cultures, discover beautiful places, meet amazing people... go far away or stay in the states, but travel to new places as often as possible.

12. Always see the light in others... never judge. Everyone has a story, a reason for the way they are. You don't always know what they have been through. Love, don't judge.

13. Do something that scares you... step through your fear and you'll experience the exhilaration of conquering it.

14. Always give a firm handshake. No limp, wimpy handshakes allowed... ever.

15. Look people in the eye when you speak to them. When placing an order at a restaurant, when passing someone on the street, when checking out at the grocery store, when sharing a coke with a friend... look them in the eye. It will fill them with worth and value.

16. Forgive. Don't carry a grudge or resentment around with you... it will become a heavy burden that will weigh you down until you can't move or function. Let it go.

17. Accept failures as lessons, not as the end of the story. Learn from the bad as well as the good. You will fall down, you will make a mess of things, you will make mistakes... but it's all part of your journey... trying and failing and learning... is the key to your success.

18. No one, nothing can make you happy but you. Happiness doesn't come from the outside... it comes from within and you are the only means to being happy. It's your choice.

19. Avoid negative energy... it will drain the life right out of you. Excuse yourself from negative conversations, end relationships with people that exhaust you with their constant tirade of everything that is wrong, don't listen to all the negative news. Negative energy is contagious - you don't want to catch it.

20. Read ten pages a day of a book that inspires, motivates, challenges you to be a better person. Make this a habit, not one of those "someday, when I have time I will do this."

21. Be here now. Don't live in the past, it is gone and there is nothing you can do to change whatever happened. Don't worry about tomorrow, for it isn't here yet - worrying won't change a thing, except to make you feel worse and worse. You only have right here, right now - so embrace and enjoy each moment.

That's it, baby girl. I love you so completely, adore everything about you and desire that your journey in life leads you to writing your own list... to your daughter or son.

Oh, and I almost forgot... there's one more crucial piece of advice - a bonus!... when you have a bad day... remember how a chocolate shake and French fries will cure anything!

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

How to Buy the Best Breast Pumps Online

It is easy to just go ahead and grab the first breast pump you see on the store shelf and just get it over with. But then, you will be compromising not just your health and your comfort, but also the health and comfort of the most important person who will be benefiting from it - your baby. Breast pumps are not created equal and as with anything connected with raising a baby, it needs to fit their needs if they are to grow up healthy.

The first thing you need to determine when buying breast pumps is how much you'll need it. Some new mothers have difficulty with breastfeeding during the first two weeks after giving birth, and as such, electric breast pumps are recommended due to their rapid suck-and-release cycle that mimics the way babies usually nurse. This type of pump saves time because it can pump both breasts at the same time and drain them effectively. These are also the types you need to use if you need to pump more than once a day because of a full work schedule or are frequently away and won't be able to nurse your baby regularly.

If you're a new mom who needs to leave your baby with a sitter every now and then but doesn't want to supplement with milk formulas, then using a battery-operated breast pump is your best option. These are best for short-term feeding intervals and are less expensive. However, unlike electric pumps, they can be used only for one breast at a time and takes twice as long to pump. If you want something that will last longer, you may opt for semi-electric or rechargeable kinds which fair warning, may cost a bit more.

Of course if you're not averse to exerting more pumping effort, you can always get the manual breast pumps. More effort they may require but most women actually prefer it over their faster, electric counterparts because of its convenient size and the fact that it mimics baby's sucking better. In addition, they are infinitely more affordable and quieter than electric and battery-operated pumps.

Once you've determined what type of breast pump you want to get, a good place to start finding these online is comparison sites. These sites allow you browse by price range, brands and stores where your preferred brands are available. They also offer an FAQ page where you will be able to get expert opinions and answers on any questions you may have about the products you are researching about.

If you have budget constraints (a mid-weight, personal-use electric breast pump can retail for as much as roughly $350), you may want to consider renting which can cost you approximately $50-$55 a month plus a security deposit but unless you plan to breastfeed for more than three months, buying your own is the best way to go, especially if you have health insurance that can cover the cost of buying your own pump. In addition, these pumps and its accompanying accessories are also considered tax-deductible.

The beauty of buying online is that there are sites that offer warranties, suction settings, cycle speeds and other important features you need to know about breast pumps. These sites also give pertinent tips and advice like choosing the right size for the breast shields from guides to make for comfortable pumping. As long as you do your research, you should be able to find one that is exactly what you and your baby needs.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

Five Tips for On-Budget Baby Shopping

Though you may realize that a baby is a precious thing, once you hold yours in your arms you start to comprehend what 'precious' really means. We would do anything for them and when it comes to buying, we'd buy whatever there may be available.

There are thousands of products for babies and often moms-to-be feel that they need to buy many of those in order to begin parenting with the right foot. When you are on a limited budget this may create unnecessary anxiety and stress. If this is the case, you should keep well in mind that whatever you buy for your baby, it is you she needs before anything. Expensive things won't make up for love, care and attention.

Furthermore, know that your baby will grow by the hour. It is pointless to buy too many things for her, for clothes will get small in a blink, toys will be obsolete before she can have any significant experience of those and so will accessories. Here are some tips to baby shopping:

1. Clothing

Disposable diapers have changed the world of baby care. This means that the changing rate for clothes need not be too high. Also remember that babies are not dolls. You may be tempted to make them look like adult miniatures or play cuties, but the priority should be to dress them comfortably.

So choose no more than five baby sets before your baby is born and buy new only if/when needed. Pick comfortable materials fit for the season and you'll be good to go.

The time will come when you child will demand a certain type of clothes. It is a good idea to save your money for that day.

2. Bed

Your baby will spend most of her time in her bed, 16 to 14 hours during the first year of her life. Choosing the right bed is very important.

Since you are on a budget, avoid cribs. Cribs are only used in the very first weeks of life and become useless as soon as the baby begins to move. Buy a bed instead, where you can put your baby to sleep for a longer time.

Sometimes a travel cot may be a better choice considering that it has no bars where the baby can stick her head into or bang it. It is less expensive, the baby can play freely and safely inside, it is compact and you can move it around the room. Since they may be easily packed you can take it along wherever you go making your baby feel always at home. Moreover, many travel cots come along with their own crib should you really want one. You may want to buy a small mattress in the size of your cot if it becomes a permanent solution, though not too thick for soon the baby will be able to stand and may actually fall out.

3. Baby carriage

They come in all colors and shapes, often with many accessories. The choice of a carriage is very personal and it depends on your life-style, habits, home, surroundings etc. The primary purpose of baby carriages is to enable you to take out your baby without having to carry her all the time. Yet you may use it at home as well, to help your baby fall asleep, to move her around the house or have her near you safely while you do your things. Do, therefore, choose a light and compact model that takes little space, that you are able to carry yourself and fold when necessary. Some light and compact carriage models are fit for newborns so if you pick the right one, it may be with you and your baby for a long time.

4. Baby carrier

If you really wish to spend money on something else, consider buying a baby carrier. To me it is even more important than baby monitors or other gadgets. It is great to be able to hold your baby all the time near your heart and still have your hands free. You can keep doing your normal house-keeping, shopping or other activities without looking back and worrying about how your baby is doing in the mean time. Keeping her near you and talking to her, is a very natural teaching process that will help in your baby's development. On the other hand, your baby will love being with you at all times.

5. Toys

Do not spend your money on toys and expensive decorations. Your newborn baby will not appreciate them and as she grows a multitude of toys will only confuse her. In order to allow for the healthy development of your baby, she needs to be in contact with diverse colors, shapes, materials and fabrics. In the first months of her life, any safe object is an experience to her so don't rush into complicated and expensive toys. Take your time to know your baby and buy one toy at a time so that she can have a proper experience with it. Choose toys designed for her age and see how she interacts. You will know when is the moment to buy the next toy.

In the end, health, safety and comfort are three things that you should bear in mind when you shop for the baby, so do not buy cheap: shop wisely. Before buying anything for you baby, do your research. Do not rush to buy everything beforehand but wait and see. Your baby will be your best advisor in the matter.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

New Moms, Sleep Well!

Having a baby gives a woman a sense of fulfillment and enormous joy. At the same time, it has been seen that first-time mothers get overwhelmed by the changes that take place in their lives as well as their body, after the baby is born. More importantly sleep deprivation. Your baby will require many feedings a day which means less sleep for you.

BE CAREFUL! You should recognize the importance of sleep.

While some people may like to believe that they can train their bodies to not require as much sleep as they once did, this belief is false. Sleep is needed to regenerate certain parts of the body, especially the brain, so that it may continue to function optimally. After periods of extended wakefulness or reduced sleep neurons may begin to malfunction, visibly effecting a person's behavior.

According to a study conducted by the University of North Carolina Highway Safety Research Center, people who sleep less than five hours per day are four to five times more likely to be involved in a sleep-related crash.

Super Mom will give you few tips on how to relax during those few first months:

"Sleep when the baby sleeps" sounds blissful in theory. In reality, not everyone could do that. For some people sleeping requires some sort of relaxations, low light, quiet environment,... etc.

Tips on how to sleep better:

1-Lie down, even if you can't sleep.

2-Have your husband or a relative do the night shift for you ( mother or mother- in-law)

3-Take turns: One option is to put the baby to bed at night after the 8 o'clock feeding and go to bed yourself. Your partner can use a bottle of expressed milk to feed the baby around 10. Afterward your partner can go to bed and you can get up for the 2 to 4 feeding. That way, each of you will have the opportunity to have an uninterrupted six-plus hours of sleep

4-Don't rely on coffee: Although gulping down a cup of coffee first thing in the morning can give you the jolt you need to be alert, overdoing it can mask your need for sleep, and may actually prevent you from falling asleep when you finally lie down.

5-Get help around the house: Every day there seems to be twice as much work and half as much time to complete it in. Try getting a housekeeper few times a week to help you around the house or at least few hours a week.

6-Organize visiting hours: Everybody wants to see the new baby, of course. And you, you conscientious person, will feel the need to make sure the house is clean and there's something to offer them when they come. Unless your family has moved in to take over such chores, ask visitors to hold off for a week or so, then have them come one or two at a time for a couple of days a week. Anyone who had kids will understand, and those who haven't will learn soon enough.

7-Keep the baby near by: Moms actually sleep better when the baby sleeps in a bassinet next to the parents' bed rather than in his or her own room down the hall. The idea is that the baby's within easy reach, the mother doesn't have to be aroused by the baby's screaming, and she doesn't have to get up, turn on the lights, and go down a hallway. That makes it easier to slide back into sleep after the feeding. Starting his second month he will start sleeping better during the night then you could move him to his own room.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

The Weekly Compass - How Many Hats Do You Wear?

Roles and Priorities

When you think of the roles you play, it can often change from day to day, sometimes several times a day. How do we prioritize our days when we wear so many different hats? We are mothers, wives, daughters, friends, employees, citizens, volunteers, aunts, sisters, etc. By focusing more on relationships than on to do lists, we are telling the people around us that they are the most important thing to us because our ACTIONS will show it.

The Weekly Compass

The weekly compass is what Stephen Covey writes about in his book, First Things First. It is a method I have been using for about 3 years now to keep my priorities in order on a weekly basis. A compass gives your life direction and focus. It is different than the clock, which tracks the time and things we do within that time frame.

The weekly compass works like this:

Every weekend, usually sometime between late Friday afternoon and Sunday night I schedule a "meeting with me". My family knows that when they see me pick up my red zipper Daytimer planner, that I'm off to Starbucks for a couple of hours to set my compass for the following week.

Sharpen your saw:

The principle of sharpening the saw comes right out of scripture

"If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed but skill will bring success." Eccl. 10:10

The idea is that if we are not growing as a person and continually working on areas of our lives to improve, we are not best able to give to others. If our cup is continually empty, then we won't have anything to give others. In order to sharpen your own saw, pick ONE thing you will do THIS week to improve your life in the areas of

· Physical

· Social / Emotional

· Mental

· Spiritual

After you have identified those areas, then write down seven roles (or HATS) you will wear THIS week. The hats may change from week to week, but it's recommended that you don't put on more than seven in one week so you can FOCUS.

My ROLES for this week are:

Wife

Mom

Teacher

Writer

Friend

Daughter

Entrepreneur

The NEXT step is for me to look at each role and ask myself ONE question.

What's the most important thing I can do in this role this week?

Pick ONE thing. Not three or four, just one. Write it down. This is what Covey calls, your BIG rocks. If you are filling up a jar with large rocks and small rocks and you first put all the small rocks into the jar, you will not fit the large rocks in. Your ONE thing you wrote down is your BIG ROCK. Put those in your jar first, then all the little rocks will fit into place. If you are intentional about adding value into the lives of others, then all the thousands of "to-dos" will fall in to place as needed. Relationships are the most important things in life, with God and others. Take some time to write out your own weekly compass!

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

Sick Mothers And Breastfeeding

If you are a new mother, you may have doubts whether you can breastfeed your baby when you are ill. You may have apprehensions if your baby will also be affected by your illness if you commit the mistake of breastfeeding.

The answer to your doubts is that you can certainly breastfeed your baby when you are affected by cold, flu or other common illnesses. But, you should take utmost care to protect your baby from infections. You should not forget that your baby may be affected by your illness even if you do not breastfeed. But, by breastfeeding even when you are sick, you will be making your baby more immune. You may wonder how this is possible. The reality is that when you are sick, your body produces antibodies to fight the infection. When you breastfeed, these antibodies enter your baby's body also and these antibodies will do a world of good, by strengthening your baby's immunity system.

A few mothers may worry if there will be any problem due to the medications they take for curing their illnesses. As a breastfeeding mother, you should discuss this with your doctor. But, researchers have proved that common medicines may not affect the babies even if the sick mothers breastfeed them. So, mothers need not worry about common ailments, symptoms or medications. In fact, some of the symptoms may affect the mothers more than they affect the babies. So, mothers can continue with their breastfeeding even if there are such symptoms or ailments. But, if they have serious ailments like Hepatitis or HIV, it is better they consult their doctors before deciding to breastfeed their babies.

If you have a common fever and take medications for getting relief from it, it is certainly safe to breastfeed your baby. But, if the fever occurs during the first few weeks after the birth of the child, it is better to consult your doctor because the child may get infected very easily.

As far as vomiting and diarrhea are concerned, you should ensure that you do not get dehydrated because dehydration may deplete the milk supply. If there is no such problem, you can continue breastfeeding your baby.

It is true that cough is highly contagious but you can continue breastfeed your child but you should take a few precautions. Your cough will not affect your baby through your milk but if you cough on the baby, the infection may affect the child. So, you should take small precautionary steps like not breathing or coughing on your baby, keeping your hands clean by washing them frequently and before you touch the child and so on. If you feel that you are taking unusual medications for getting relief from your cold and cough, you should consult your doctor about breastfeeding your baby.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips