Thursday, December 6, 2012

Helping to Solve The Financial Challenges of the Working Mother

A recent study by ChildCare Aware of America, a childcare research and advocacy group, appears to indicate that childcare is becoming at least as expensive as in-state college tuitions in most instances (The Christian Science Monitor, Childcare cost: Day care expense rivals college cost, fuels social problems, August 23, 2012). The study found that childcare payments equaled more than annual median rent payments in 22 states. In some of the more expensive states the payments are more than half the median incomes of single moms. The article made the argument that having a baby greatly increased the likelihood that the mother would transition into poverty. I have had several personal experiences with mothers in similar circumstances. in several cases these mothers realized that maintaining their job was costing them money when all the associated costs of working outside the home were factored in. In many cases, these parents had been so used to having a job outside the home that they felt they had to work, even when the practice was harming their families finances.

In my own personal situation my wife and I started our family while we were both working full-time jobs. I have been a law enforcement officer for my entire professional life, while my wife achieved her Master's Degree in Park and Recreational Management. My wife spent the first 7 years of our marriage working in county and state park systems as a park ranger and assistant park manager. We had our first child and determined we did not want anyone else raising our child. As a result, we split our days off and our shifts to ensure that our daughter was rarely with anyone other than one of us.

Due to circumstances outside of our control my wife found herself in an untenable situation at her last job with a state park system. Her misery with her circumstances began to affect her and our marriage. When I showed up one day to her job with a picnic basket and our beautiful infant daughter, I found her crying and in a state of significant distress. Realizing that things weren't going to get any better for her, I told her that day to walk away from her unhappy situation. Her immediate response was, "we can't afford it." I told her that whatever it took I would figure out a way to keep her home.

We made some sacrifices, keeping in mind that our ultimate goal was to create a situation where she could manage the house and raise our child while I earned the money we needed to survive. I will be honest and declare that it was initially very difficult (macaroni and cheese was on the menu). Our income was cut by approximately a third, but we were determined to make this work. I took on a steady off-duty job to supplement our bank account, and a year later I was promoted. Prior to the promotion and the additional pay, however, we had already managed to adapt to our situation. We sold one of our cars, let go of the lady cleaning our house and eliminated the babysitter we were using on occasion. In the end the impact of our income loss was mitigated to the point we wondered why we had not brought her home sooner. We eventually had our second child (my wonderful son and future guitar partner). This was my first experience with the idea that if you want something bad enough (you have a big enough "why"), the "how" will work itself out.

One of the unintended consequences of having a family was that my wife developed several health issues. As a result of both pregnancies, my wife developed preeclampsia and the H.E.L.P. Syndrome. These complications required that my wife to be induced early with each child. In addition, the pregnancies caused my wife to develop a thyroid condition that adversely affected several of the systems in her body and resulted in significant weight gain. My wife was a rough and tumble park ranger when I first met her. She would come home completely black, covered in soot from fighting a park fire. She had been on camping trips in Costa Rica where she did not take showers for weeks.

Those days were long past.

My wife was now very concerned with her appearance. She liked to have her hair and nails done; she liked to dress nice; and she would not go anywhere near a campground unless there were cabins with running water, a cosmetic mirror and a place to plug in a hair dryer. The weight gain she experienced, therefore, had a significantly negative impact on her self-image. She was working out 4-5 days a week and was working very hard at eating a healthy diet. Nothing seemed to work. I was careful not to mention her weight and honestly expressed to her that she was my standard of beauty. What I failed to understand, however, was that my wifes focus on her appearance transended vanity. Instead, my wifes concerns were that her appearance was a reflection of her health and that she was not setting the proper example for her family. It was from this desperate place that she found her salvation.

My wife's desperation created a "why" that needed to be answered and she found it through the parent of one of my daughters friends. During a conversation with this woman my wife stated that she was willing to try anything short of surgery or drugs to solve her problem. This friend explained that she was an associate with a residual income business that dealt with health and wellness. She went on to say that the program might be exactly what my wife was looking for. My wife was preparing for a trip back to Wisconsin for her high school reunion. This has always been an important event for my wife, and it served as further motivation to try the program (another "why").

This was an event significant to my wife, and ultimately significant to my entire family for many reasons. The program provided amazing results to my wife and she became an instant believer. Furthermore, she began to draw a crowd. Everyone who ever knew her when she was heavy wanted to know what she had done to achieve such amazing weight loss success! It didn't hurt that my wife was excited to tell people about the program, not yet realizing that she was already doing the job of a network marketer without getting paid for it... yet.

When my wife came to understand that simply telling someone about her success could be transitioned into a successful business we began our venture down the path to financial independence. She quickly achieved a salary in excess of what she would have been making had she remained with the park service. An even greater benefit was realized when it became apparent the money would continue to come in even when we were on vacation sitting on a beach (one of the many benefits of a residual income).

It took several months for me to try the program, but I eventually acquiesced and experienced similar results. I did not have as much weight to lose, but I achieved a level of fitness that I had not seen in years!

My wife and I now attend yearly events sponsored by our network marketing company. It never ceases to amaze me when I look around and see the thousands of people in attendance, cheering new products or new tools intended to make it easier to run our business. I love to listen to the stories of others on stage telling about the "why" that brought them to network marketing. Many of these stories express histories that started out more tragic and perilous than our own. Single mothers tell stories about sick children and bankruptcies. Husbands and wives talk of losing their only source of income to a bad economy and a concern for how they are going to feed their family or pay their bills. All of these stories end the same way. One or both of the spouses discovered network marketing and were able to achieve financial freedom for themselves and their future generations. They talk about not having to worry about college tuition or paying medical bills. They speak of amazing adventures and wonderful vacations all paid for through a residual income... sometimes earning enough residual income during the trip to pay for the trip. All of the speakers share one thing in common. They all discovered a big enough "why" to push them to realize their hopes and dreams.

What does this have to do with childcare and working mothers? How many mothers wish they didn't have to leave their kids off with complete strangers? How many wish they could be there for their child's first steps? How many wish they did not have to cut their salary in half to pay for childcare before they even make another dime to pay the rest of their bills? Residual income provides for all of these opportunities and potentially much, much more! Is that a big enough "why" to get you started? Is it at least enough to start you asking questions? Find a company you can be passionate about and use that passion to change your life.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

A Guide to Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is a natural gift that a mother can offer to his or her baby. Unlike formula milks, breast milk is the source of the essential nutrients that a baby needs. Some people believe it can act as antibiotics or vitamins aside from being a central source of food for a baby. The immune system and the physical and mental development of the baby are enhanced to give him or her optimum health and wellbeing.

Importance of Breastfeeding

Studies have shown that breastfeeding can have long-term positive effects to the child's physical and mental health. Some studies also show that children breastfed during their newborn stage are less prone to various diseases. Breastfeeding offers more nutrients than any artificially formulated milk. As your baby grows, mother's milk matures as well. The right amount of essential fat, sugar, protein, and water are derived from a mother's milk. This milk is also easier to digest for the baby.

Expressing and the Benefits It Offers

Expressing is the pumping of breast milk into a bottle that can be fed to a baby at a later time. Instead of feeding the baby straight from the mother's breast, the milk can be collected, stored, and fed to the baby. This is convenient for a mother, especially if she has to go somewhere and the baby needs to be fed at home. There are also times when a mother feels full with breast milk but the baby is not ready yet to feed. So as not to waste any breast milk and give the mother some relief from the fullness, she can use a breast pump and store the milk in an Avent bottle for later. Other members of the family like the father can also enjoy and connect with the baby by feeding him or her with the bottled breast milk.

Sterilizing and Storing Feeding Bottles

With the option of expressing, it is important, therefore, to keep feeding bottles, breast pumps, and other feeding equipment sterilized and clean. A newborn with an immature immune system can easily get diseases from unsterilized feeding bottles. Diarrhea and tummy aches can happen in this case, and that's something any parent should always have to avoid. Make sure you totally clean and wash feeding bottles and equipment before and after using them. You can wash and rinse it with warm water then sterilize it with steam. This can kill harmful germs and help protect your baby from diseases.

Moreover, make sure you are storing your breast milk in the proper way. Breast milk can be easily spoiled, so you need to keep them in sealed bottles and refrigerate them to prevent spoilage. You can store mother's milk in the refrigerator for 24 hours or in the freezer for 3 months. You may also want to write the day of expressing on the bottle and the time as well to make sure you are feeding your child with healthy milk. This will also be a way a mother to keep track of the dates and time of expressing to avoid wasting breast milk.

Breastfeeding doesn't have to be a challenging part in baby care. You can manage this task with expressing and practicing the proper ways to store and sterilize mother's milk.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips

One dream that many married couples all over the world strive for is to be pregnant. They want to experience the joy of motherhood and fatherhood and raise a child into adulthood. If you would like to join them in the experience and need help, then read the advice on pregnancy in this article.

Even though you should gain some weight while pregnant, it is not a good thing to gain way too much. There are many bad effects that excess weight can have on the body. These include gestational diabetes, stillbirth, and caesarean delivery. Be very careful about what you eat.

To give your baby a stronger heart from the start, exercise regularly during your pregnancy. Research has shown that babies whose mothers exercised at least three times per week for 30 minutes had stronger hearts at the time of birth. The effect lasts, too; their hearts were still stronger a month after birth. Discuss exercise options with your doctor before starting any workout regimen.

Eat five or six well-balanced meals every day. This will help you to get all the nutrition that you need, as well as the calories. You should not be eating junk food all day. There is no nutritional value in that, and the only thing it will do for you is put on extra pounds.

If you are a smoker, now is the time to quit. Many programs are around to help you do this. Smoking can lead to having a premature baby. It can also cause your baby to be underweight. Babies need to start out with a strong start, in order to be prepared to handle this world.

Make sure the prescription drugs you are taking are not dangerous to the health of your baby. Every prescription drug on the market has a "pregnancy class" that tells you whether the drug is safe to take during pregnancy. If you are taking a drug that is unsafe for pregnant women, ask your doctor about alternatives. Most drugs have one or more.

If you are pregnant with twins or multiple babies, be prepared to have a C-Section. Most doctors prefer to deliver via C-Section when there is more than one baby, in order to prevent the mother from bleeding too much, and to increase the chances of the babies being delivered without any problems.

Do not give up exercising when you are pregnant, unless you have a medically necessary reason to do so. Walking, swimming and other low-impact activities are excellent ways to keep your heart healthy and your core muscles strong, which can help to alleviate back pain and may make labor and delivery easier for you.

Know if you are HIV-positive or not. If you find out that you are, do not automatically freak out. HIV-positive women that are aware of this early on, have a higher chance of sparing their babies from getting this disease. You will want to make sure that you have an OB-GYN that is well educated about the care that will need to be taken and can explain all of your options for a safe pregnancy.

As stated before in the article above, many married couples worldwide, strive for pregnancy. These couples try their best to raise children and become mothers and fathers. If you use the pregnancy advice from this article, then you too can take part in experiencing the joy of motherhood and fatherhood.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

The Miracle of Childbirth

When pregnant with my first child, I only knew that I was expecting because my stomach grew. My friends and I were pregnant at the same time for the first time. Many of them were quite unwell with morning sickness and exhaustion. I, on the other hand, had life "as usual" except for the uncontrollable cravings for meat, an unheard of luxury in 1988 Israel.

During my second pregnancy, I felt a bit queasy. However, it was manageable and I was still relatively sure that the dramas of illness that women spoke about during their pregnancies were more to relieve themselves of housework than anything real.

When pregnant for the third time, a previously unknown world opened up for me. I remember well the moment of truth. We had just finished our Friday night Shabbat meal. Suddenly, I got up and ran to the bathroom quickly putting an end to what had been a delicious flavor in my mouth.

The sickness and exhaustion lasted the entire 9 months of the pregnancy, give or take a few days. I internally asked forgiveness from every woman who I ever doubted was truly sick during her pregnancy. It was now clear that morning sickness (and afternoon sickness, and night sickness) were genuine by-products of women's pregnancies and not a ploy for attention.

The LONG awaited day finally arrived. Labor came on strong. I went from sleeping to transition in a few moments, which is not the way to give birth. I am grateful that we lived just a few miles from the hospital because I made it there just in time to give birth in my pajamas!

Out came (or should I say "out flew") my little girl. The doctor passed her to me. I took one look at this sweet bundle and knew for sure, without a question or doubt, that there is a G*d in the world.

I could be scientific about this realization and claim that the wonderment of conception and birth must bring one to a belief in The Creator. I could discuss that every single cell perfectly knows its job in the human body -this cell will become part of the pinky nail and that cell will become part of the pupil in the eye, etc.-all a perfect plan of The Maker Himself. I could note the uniqueness of every person in the world, each obviously with their own soul. Pregnancy and childbirth bring endless proofs that there must be a G*d.

However, that is not what brought me to the absolute knowledge that G*d exists. What did it for me? I fell madly and passionately in love with the new little angel that had just been placed into my arms. When else can someone torture you for 9 months and in a moment you decide that you are madly in love with her forever? When can something make you feel so bad and in one connecting moment the world becomes open with possibility, hope, and joy?

That is a mother's love for her child, a true miracle and gift from G*d alone. One of the infinite ways that G*d reaches out to us and lets us know that He exists, He created us, He loves us, and He will take care of us always.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

The Proper Way of Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things a mother would experience after giving birth. It is the safest and best milk she can offer to her baby. Just what nutritionist experts have said "Breast milk is still best for Babies up to two years and beyond" Several mothers may experience difficulties or strange feelings during the early stage of the sessions of breastfeeding to their babies, increased anxiety and constant worry for them thinking if she could produce enough milk but eventually they will soon be used to it. Breastfeeding may take around 20 to 45 minutes per session for the first three months of a new born baby.

There are lots of benefits for the infant, greater immune health through breastfeeding about 0.25-0.5 grams per day IgA antibodies go by through milk. Colostrums are one of the most important feature breast milk formed for babies. It also contains several anti-infective factors such as protecting amoebic infections, and inhibiting growth of intestinal bacteria.

Studies show that breastfeed infants include a lower risk of infections than those non-breastfeed infants. It also reduces sudden death syndrome because infants have improved stimulation from nap at 2 to 3 months. Less diabetes, infants completely breastfeed contain a fewer possibility of developing diabetes mellitus than peers by means of a shorter period of breastfeeding and prior exposure to an formulated cow's milk.

Maternal bond are strengthen during the breastfeeding period because of the released of the hormones. World Health Organization (WHO) recommend breastfeeding for the baby's up to six months of their life and continued feeding with appropriate foods up to two years old and beyond. It is the best food for the baby for it provides complete nourishments. It is also very convenient and affordable for the mother to breastfeed their babies. Babies who are breastfeed are more active, smart, intelligent, they also have good teeth and because of the time spend by mothers to their babies bonding are intact, closeness to their parents as they grow older. A baby feels that they are cared and loved. Mothers are enjoying taking care of their babies at the same time they are also providing and protecting their babies free from sickness.

The following tips are the proper way to breastfeed your child:

• It is important to be at ease, calm and be ready. Make sure that the room is comfortable for the said activity/session. You have to move away if the room is crowded, or if it is cold get additional blanket. Once all set, be certain to make use of a comfortable chair to provide a firm support. Lying down may be also suggested.

• The baby needs to be comfortable as well, for you as a mother to check the right position if it is sitting or lying down. It might be stressful for the baby that he may refuse to suck your nipples. He feels aware if your body is anxious or if it is calm.

• Placing pillows behind your back and under the arm for a relaxed position when you breastfeed your baby is the most common breastfeeding position. Your baby's head should rest on your hand and other hand over the baby's thighs or buttocks.

• To maintain its position child's face must be in front of your chest so it will be comfortable while sucking. Let your nipple touch the baby's cheek, automatically the baby will turn his face towards where the touch came; the baby will open his/her mouth to suck its milk.

• Letting the baby know that it is routing time for his breastfeeding. Feeding the baby regularly as he grows a bit older, will help regulate and be at ease between meals.

It is how you offer your breast, proper sitting, and how you hold your little ones affect them on how they suck properly. This fact shows how you will be relaxed and comfortable during breastfeeding.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

Mompreneur Mindset - 3 Simple Steps To Create Lasting Inner Peace

It is often been said that women are complicated creatures, but are we really? I speak to and connect with many women, especially moms on a daily basis and it doesn't seem like we are complicated at all. In fact, I would go so far as to say that we are extremely easy to figure out!

It seems that there are three basic things that seem common to all moms, that if they are met, mean that they live a very happy and peaceful existence.

Seemingly all we want is:

1. For our kids to be healthy and happy

I once heard it say that a mother is only as happy as her sickest child, and it really resonated with me. When our kids are sick, they are miserable, clingy and difficult to keep content. If they are babies, they spend their time wanting to be carried, meaning that we get very little done. It can also be emotionally exhausting for the mother. When our kids are healthy and happy in their lives, we are content and happy in ours.

2. For our husband/partner to be loving and supportive

I guess that you could argue that loving and supportive is relative, and what I view as loving and supportive differs from the next person. To a certain extent, this is true. However, I think that most women could agree that if your husband supports you, even when you make a decision that turned out not to be the best one, if he loves you unconditionally, even when you screw up, and understands how hard it can be emotionally, being mom to a young family, it's all we really require. Mostly we don't want someone to take away our responsibilities - we just want them to provide a friendly ear and strong shoulder.

3. To occasionally have a little "me" time, away from the bustle of the family

Most mothers do not crave a weekend away from their kids. Most mothers do not crave a whole day away from their kids. There comes a point, about a few hours into our time off, when we start to yearn to see our babies, and hold them in our arms. All we really require is a hour or two to ourselves. We want to read a little, or drink a cup of coffee while it's still hot. We want to perhaps have a manicure or a facial, without dealing with multiple distractions at the same time. Really, our needs are not complicated and we will come back feeling rejuvenated and energised.

How many of my female readers have read the statements above and agree that if they were met almost 80% of the time, you would be content? Yes, I know that we're not supposed to attach our happiness to external events or objects, and that happiness comes from within, and that happiness is a journey and not a destination etc. But seriously, does knowing all that ever actually make you feel any better?

So any men reading this, take note:

We are not complicated creatures who are hard to understand. Please try to support us, love us and understand how hard it is to be a mum, constantly juggling the happiness and health of so many people.

Try to help more with the kids: take them on an outing to give us one hour of peace. We're not asking for days here. Generally one hour is quite sufficient to recharge our batteries.

And most of all, try not to put us down or judge us. I promise, we are harder on ourselves than you could ever be; riddled with guilt and worry, and praying to God that we make the best choice for our families.

Help us with these things, and we will love you forever.

A Mother's Love for Her Children   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   Getting Ready For Your Baby: Some Tips   

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